What is a Weekly Couples Catch-up?
The Gottman’s talk about something called ‘State of the Union’.
Most people from Australia won’t know what that means. But don’t worry, it’s really all about a weekly catch-up with your partner to talk about your relationship and take care of the ‘little things’ on a regular basis.
It’s a bit like a ‘family meeting’ but for your relationship.
Held regularly, there are lot’s of benefits that make having a ‘weekly couples catch-up’ a great idea.
Why You Need a Weekly Couples Catch-up
Top Benefits for your Relationship
- Top benefits include – Feeling heard by your partner.
- A chance to bring up small things, and minor worries before they become bigger issues.
- Creates a Ritual of connection – strengthening the bond in your relationship.
- An opportunity to reflect on what’s working well in your relationship.
- Celebrate the good things and be aware of the positives that drive happiness and satisfaction in your relationship.
- Feel connected, work together and feel like you are on the ‘same team’.
- Share responsibility for the growth and resilience of your relationship and family.
- Resolve potential problems / avoid upcoming conflicts ahead of time.
- Understand how each other are feeling / coping through the week.
- Creates an opportunity to support each other and know each other’s world. (Build Love maps)
What do you have to gain?
How would experiencing the above benefits help you and your relationship?
After a successful couples catch-up, would you feel…
- Less stressed
- A weight off your shoulders
- A burden off your chest
- Supported and understood
- A sense of clarity
- A sense of organisation
- A sense of calming support
- Relieved, having a healthy outlet for stress & worry
- A stronger sense of trust & connection
- Proud of your teamwork
- Excited for the future
- Confident and grounded
What else?
What might your partner feel? What do they have to gain?
What problems might seem to ‘disappear’ by having a regular Couples Catch-up?
What to Talk About?
Communication Tips & Topics for Smooth Sailing
- Start with your relationship values. Pick out 1 or 2 of your values to focus on for the couples catch-up.
- Let your partner know what you appreciate about them. Try and come up with 5 specific things.
- Listen to your partner, and what they appreciate about you.
- Chat about how you can help and support each other – what do you need?
- Reflect on what’s working well in your relationship.
- Raise any issues that have come up, or mention any problems on the horizon.
- Practice using good communication techniques like Gottmans ‘Soft-startup’ when you are talking about these things, to remain calm and positive.
- You can also use your Smooth Conversations cards too!
- And remember, practice is key. Your first couples catch-up might be a bit wobbly, but by the 10th and beyond… Smooth sailing!
- Select one issue to talk through. Use all your growing communication skills and insights to repair, and reach a compromise, or an intermediate solution if you can.
Ask Good Questions. Listen. Small Details Matter
- Ask each other questions – What they felt? What they need? How you can help, etc.
- Confirm key details and dates for events and activities.
- Celebrate achievements and milestones.
- Touch base with your plans, shared values, goals, vision, ideas etc.
It’s all laid out in the downloadable template below.
Top Tip: Use Your Smooth Conversation Cards
Ask great questions and have a great weekly catchup using your ‘Smooth Conversation’ cards. Stay calm, ask follow up questions, go deeper, repair, reach compromise, agreements and find harmony using your Smooth Conversation Cards.
Click here to learn more about Smooth Conversations or get your deck today.
Download the Couples Catch-up Agenda
Now available in a convenient mobile-optimised size.
Perfect for having your couples catch-up on the go.
Pro tip: Use your PDF annotation tools, to take notes on the PDF. Save a copy when you’re done.
Don’t worry if you go off topic. They key is to start the conversation and have your weekly catch-up. Build the habit of connecting, talking, sharing and build a healthy, sustainable and loving relationship!
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Connect Daily With Love Sparks - Relationship Affirmations
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Spark positivity and affection in your relationship with daily Love Sparks. Get the playfulness back in your relationship – Share a ‘Love Spark – Relationship Affirmation’ with your partner today!
