Experience Deep Transformation in Your Relationship
Struggling Couples Face a Fork in the Road
For couples in crisis, the path forward often narrows to two stark options:
‘Separate – and go our separate ways’
or
‘Give it everything we’ve got – one last time’.
By the time most couples see me, they’ve exhausted every option – books, second chances, anger, walking away, venting to friends, or even seeing a counsellor.
But after months or even years, nothing has improved or lasted. Frustration reaches its peak, and they find themselves at a final fork in the road.
Brave & Committed Couples Turn their Relationship Around
I can only imagine the nerves and apprehension my clients must feel as their retreat with me approaches.
Yet, I am truly in awe by their bravery and commitment to step up and save their marriage. Choosing to turn things around is no small feat.
As I often say,
“Making it to the retreat is a huge milestone in itself.”
This powerful realisation sets a positive stage for our next brave steps together – even in the face of difficult times.
In this case study, I want to share the story of a couple who turned their relationship around by taking that brave step. Their journey helps you visualise how a couple – perhaps like you – can make real shifts in their relationship.
By understanding their journey, you’ll gain insight into the challenges they faced, the transformations they made, and whether a Couples Counselling Retreat might be the right next step for you.
'Ann & Adam's Story: Real People, Real Change
Note: Names changed to maintain privacy
Background & Relationship Challenges:
Ann & Adam had a lot going on, and during our first session we unpacked a lot of the complex layers and compounding problems. This included:
- Trust issues and emotional infidelity
- Controlling behaviours and broken boundaries
- Communication breakdowns and character attacks
- Unmet needs, and emotional distress
- Work stress, alcohol misuse, and instability at home
- The added pressure of raising young children.
What they wanted:
Despite these deep-seated issues, they held onto hope and expressed a desire for change – a shared vision of a healthier, more loving relationship.
Ann and Adam described what their ideal future would look like; a relationship built on honesty, health, love, playfulness, and forgiveness. They wanted a strong foundation where they could have fun, enjoy intimacy, and move forward with confidence in their life direction.
Their Gottman Assessment confirmed my findings from our initial session, and allowed me to plan and tailor their retreat with confidence.
It was clear the retreat would be just the beginning for this couple, as there were many areas of the relationship ‘flashing red’ requiring attention and intervention.
Breakthrough Experience:
During the retreat Ann & Adam found themselves feeling more open, relaxed and calm, allowing them to feel safe, share things, be vulnerable, honest and able to express their feelings, with an overarching sense of gratitude.
The fact that they were here, with a positive attitude, working on saving their marriage was a testament to their dedication and commitment. I could sense their hope and empowerment in the room as they made meaningful steps toward repairing their relationship.
Adam reflected and commented on being better at regulating his emotions, which helped reduce his negative outlook at times, and was better able to talk through these difficult and sensitive topics.
Ann and Adam described how having their Life Values to guide the intentions of their conversations, helped set and maintain the tone of the conversations, working together, with less judgement and more trust and cooperation.
Ann and Adam used the Gottman Rapoport Communication Framework, to engage in a deep, challenging conversation. Through this process, they were both able to feel truly heard, express their emotions clearly, and understand how the other person was feeling and why, from their perspective.
Describing their experiences as “the story I made up in my head…” was a liberating moment. It showed them the power – and the danger – of sticking solely to their own perspective and making assumptions or filling in the gaps with their own narrative.
By the end of the second day, using guided discussions and therapeutic frameworks, such as Terry Real’s Feedback Wheel and our own Smooth Conversations cards, they gained a much deeper understanding of their situation while maintaining positive regard for each other.
We covered many sensitive topics, including betrayal, destructive behaviour patterns, and unmet needs. We also talked about and made sense of the emotional effects in the relationship, such as feelings of loneliness, distance, despair, shame, and disappointment.
They acknowledged how taking responsibility and being accountable helped them realise the full impact these issues had on their marriage.
This new-found clarity paved the way for their next steps and created a shared desire to move forward together.
What’s Next:
Toward the end of the retreat Ann and Adam felt lighter, open minded, and hopeful, with a genuine sense of care for each other, saying that the experience has provided them with a foundation to continue repairing their marriage.
Specifically they noted:
- A desire to create new healthy relationship boundaries.
- Prioritising self-respect and aligning with their shared values.
- Protecting their relationship by practising open communication without defensiveness or avoidance.
- Ann getting clarity and alignment on her career goals, financial goals and personal goals.
- Rebuilding trust through specific, intentional changes in behaviour.
The retreat was just the beginning for Ann and Adam, and they were determined to continue their progress with the ongoing support provided in my Relationship Support Package.
Achievements:
Ann and Adam reflected on their commitment to each other throughout the repair process.
They had learned new techniques for managing difficult conversations and felt optimistic about their future together.
Their key achievements included:
- A massive shift in how they handled conversations, thanks to the guiding frameworks, and supporting therapies they had learned.
- A commitment to daily mindfulness and self-awareness to better manage emotions, and gain clarity.
- Daily check-ins to stay connected and regular catch-ups to address issues early.
Having the tools and resources in the program, at their fingertips when they needed, helped them feel more comfortable about tackling the work ahead.
How to Book Your Couples Counselling Retreat with Jacqui
The first step is to get in touch with Jacqui for a free, brief chat about what’s going on in your relationship.
If Jacqui feels she can help, you’ll be invited to an initial discovery session.
After that, you’ll be in a better position to consider your next steps.
If a retreat feels like the right choice for you, we’ll look at available dates, answer any questions you may have, and get the ball rolling right away.
Want to learn more first? Visit our Couples Counselling Retreat page for more details or get in touch to request a brochure with information on how it works, pricing and more.
